Позвольте отвлечься от темы коров
Я не знала, в какую тему отнести это сообщение, но решила написать сюда.
Я тут нашла такую историю интересную...про Джона и Ко(многие, может быть, уже читали).
Поскольку текст довольно большой, выложу пока только начало, которое должно особенно понравиться Гела-ненавистникам (Юлия, в первую очередь намекаю на тебя
)
К сожалению, текст на английском.
Итак:
The Tigger Taylor Story
This script was written by my good buddy and fellow obsessive Duranie, Nurse
Twigenstein, who hopefully won't strangle me for putting this up here without
her permission, but that's what happens when she sends me something this damn
funny... No resemblance to any persons living or dead is intended, this is a
work of fiction...well, the fiction part is true anyway...
This movie script is rated PG-13 for strong language, kinky sex acts,
kleptomania, Simon frolicking naked, drug and alcohol use, jabs at Andy for
being poor and Nick being a sick twisted freak. That being said...enjoy!
** This movie is the defining moment of John's career! (Oh God, who am I
fooling?!)
* Oh the drama!
* Oh the suspense!
* Oh the multiple pairs of orange pants in the wardrobe department!
IMPORTANT BACKGROUND FACT:
First of all, this magnificent role calls for John to have a peg leg. "A peg
leg?", you may ask? (It's kind of like a drunken pirate...Ahoy, Matey! Arrrgh!)
John has a damn peg leg because he was in a L.A. mini mart when it was robbed.
While trying to escape, he slipped on a Slurpee puddle, sliding into the masked
gunman, who accidentally shot him in the foot.
*SCENE 1*
Gela divorced John. John and Simon were having a hot and heavy affair while Gela
was out of town, testing various color swatches for next season's Juicy Couture
collection. One fateful day, Atlanta came home from soccer practice to find John
and Simon performing Kama Sutra on the couch. She was obviously frightened and
called Gela on her cell phone. Gela was horrified and caught the next available
flight home. Upon knocking on the door, Gela recieved the shock of her life:
Simon answered the door butt ass naked and weilding a fire poker! Gela and Simon
began angrily wrestling on the ground. John didn't care that Simon was being
bitch slapped by his wife; he nonchalantly walked out of the room. After all, he
had more important things to do. He entered the bedroom to find Simon's
discarded trousers and pocketed all of his credit cards. He wandered back into
the living room, where Gela was lying, partly conscious, wearing a severely
ripped Juicy Couture shirt. Simon was nowhere in sight; he had escaped and was
running down the street in his birthday suit. ("CUT!! My birthday isn't until
next month!" SHUT UP, Simon, you fat idiot...) Anyways, John had no idea how he
was going to get out of this mess.
"Gela, Simon tried to rape me at gunpoint!" shouted John.
Gela countered, "How do you expect me to believe that?!?? Atlanta called me in
tears...she told me EXACTLY what you were up to! You BASTARD!"
John, stuttering as usual, replied, "Gela, Atlanta thought she saw me and Simon
engaging in Kama Sutra! She was hallucinating, I swear! She must have pocketed
Nick's stash of hallucinogens at last night's show..."
(end of scene 1)